A.S. Thorne

You know that look people give you when they think you’re mad, but really you’re just… processing? Yeah, that’s me. Apparently, when I’m anxious, overwhelmed, or lost in thought, my face forgets how to look friendly.

I promise I’m not angry. I’m just trying to remember if I documented my last client session, finished the online assignment I swore was due next week, and whether I ever actually hit “send” on that follow-up email draft. Meanwhile, my phone won’t stop buzzing, my to-do list is staging a coup, and my face is out here giving full “don’t talk to me, I’m mentally sprinting through deadlines” energy.

When my anxiety kicks up, it doesn’t always show as shaking hands or tears. Sometimes it shows up as irritability. Short answers. Blank stare. Sharp tone. My body’s basically saying, “system overload,” but my mouth says, “What?” with a little too much edge.

It’s not that I mean to come off that way. My brain just starts juggling too many tabs at once, and my emotional expression gets stuck buffering. Someone might think I’m mad, cold, or rude. In reality, I’m usually just one intrusive thought away from needing a nap (or a vacation).

There’s this unspoken rule that women especially are supposed to smile through everything—be approachable, calm, collected. But honestly? Sometimes my face just needs a break. Sometimes it’s not resting bitch face—it’s resting I’ve-had-eight-coffees-and-I’m-holding-it-together-by-a-thread face.

I think we all have those moments where our outside doesn’t match what’s going on inside. For me, that mismatch just happens to look like a scowl. If you catch me looking intense, please know I’m probably not judging you. I’m just trying to regulate my own internal chaos.

Here’s my gentle reminder to myself and maybe to you. Check your face. Check your tone. Maybe take a deep breath before you accidentally terrify the barista or your coworker. It’s not about faking calm—it’s just about remembering that sometimes, our overwhelm leaks out before we even realize it.

For the students, the professionals, the parents, the multitaskers—you are all doing your best with too little time. There is too much caffeine involved. You’re not mean. You’re just managing a lot at once. Maybe today, we can all give ourselves (and each other) a little grace for how that sometimes looks.

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Before you go…

What’s your tell? That one thing your body does when you’re overwhelmed, even if no one else notices?
Drop it in the comments or journal it out tonight. You might be surprised by how much your face, posture, or tone reveals about what your brain is carrying.

🖤 A.S. Thorne 🖤